Does the perfect roommate exist?
Back in the 80’s when we headed off to college, everyone was in the same roommate boat meaning that we all went “random”! You got who you got! If you were lucky maybe you got a chance to talk on the phone or even meet before you moved into your cinder block, unairconditioned dorm room.
I can’t remember exactly when my 17 year old self found out that my roomie’s name was going to be Rosie and that she lived in Washington, Pennsylvania (I had never even heard of Wash Pa, but that’s a whole other story). As luck would have it Rosie’s family was heading to Atlantic City the summer before college and we got to meet!
We did plan out our comforters and that she was bringing the refrigerator while I would bring a rug. Summer passed quickly and my parents rented a u-haul (even back then I needed stuff) and schlepped across the Pa turnpike to take me to college.
We were lucky!
We became good friends and even sorority sisters. I was in Rosie’s wedding and we remain lifelong friends 40 years later! We hardly see each, but when we do get together, we pick up right where we left off.
Fast forward to when my girls were going to college. One “picked “ her roommate (a process I stayed out of) and it all seemed good - until it wasn’t. It went south by Labor Day and it never improved. In fact it only got even more awkward when they both pledged the same sorority.
Looking back on it, I think my daughter misrepresented herself as did the other girl.
My daughter looks like she’s extroverted. You know the big group of friends, the big smile, the cute outfits and all that people might assume from carefully chosen photos. and social media. But the truth is that she’s also very studious and very disciplined. She goes to bed early to wake early to exercise and study before taking 8 am classes.
The roommate kept an opposite schedule and it all went downhill very quickly!
It was a long year, but they got through it. They both made lots of other friends in their dorm and through sorority, but let’s just say that the roommate was not invited to my daughter’s wedding last year.
On the other hand, my younger daughter was assigned a random roommate from within her living learning community. They were roommates for their first two years of college and then each lived off campus with other friends.
For the past two years since graduation, they are once again roommates in a two bedroom DC apartment. Their friend group in DC is basically the same people from freshman year.
So there you have it. She was lucky enough to find a really good roommate who is a close friend. Roommate situations are unpredictable and require some work! Some people really get lucky and others have to put up with someone who they don’t really like.
Except for a jail cell ( dramatic I know) where do two people share such a small living space filled with their possessions without much escape?! You study, live, exercise, relax, worry and laugh in a tiny room. Maybe you have air conditioning that works and maybe you are planning on decorating together down to the peel and stick wallpaper. Maybe you have matching comforters and maybe you get your Rosie!
My advice is to be honest! Adequately describe who you really are. Don’t expect to be besties! Remember everyone is new!
And just because this girl is your camp friend’s best home friend does not mean that it is all going to be gumdrops and lollipops. It can get a little sticky. But be honest about who you are and your expectations.
Start off in the sweetest way possible! Send a little roommate treat! We have super fun acrylic boxes that can be personalized with a school logo. Another fun idea is a lollipop jar for her desk!
Wishing you the sweetest 4 years and I hope you find your Rosie!
In the photo below, I’m in the middle and Rosie is on my right. Our friend/sorority sister Lauri is on the left.
At Lauri’s bridal shower. Rosie is to the right. I’m standing on the left. Lisa is the other bridesmaid standing.
The girls from the sorority house . Rosie is on the bottom left. I am in the rugby shirt.